Jim Gaffigan Jesus Carpenter Joke?

For the life of me, I can’t find the track where Jim is talking about Jesus being a carpenter but performing miracles at the same time. What I can recall, though, is a quote:

“We need the shelves by Tuesday, but we’d love our son to see the shelves”

If anyone knows from which CD this joke is, and the name of the joke, that’d be awesome.

Thanks so much!

3 answers by real people - Jim Gaffigan Jesus Carpenter Joke?

  • 1 month ago

    Google it under funnies

  • lillian
    5 days ago

    Jim Gaffigan Jesus

  • Anonymous
    5 days ago

    Not bad… Here is one back at you. Jesus and Moses decide to go down to earth and spend the day golfing. They need a third so they just pick a random guy off the street. The trio is on the 5th hole and there is a water hazard right before the green. Moses lines up his shot and wacks the ball. It goes soaring through the sky but is heading straight for the water hazard. Moses raises his club and spreads his arms out wide. The water of the hazard parts and the ball bounces off the ground and lands on the green 6 feet from the hole. Jesus and the guy off the street clap and both congratulate Moses on a nice shot. Jesus steps up to the tee and takes his shot. The ball goes soaring but is again heading straight for the water hazard. Jesus closes his eyes and raises his chin so he is facing the heavens and the ball skips lightly across the water and on to the green, coming to rest 3 feet from the hole. Moses and the guy clap and congratulate Jesus. The man steps up to the Tee and smacks his ball. It hooks off into the woods and lands at the bottom of a large oak tree. A squirell grabs the ball and runs up the tree with it. A hawk swoops out of the sky and snatches the squirel out of the tree and begins to fly off. Suddenly a lightening bolt comes out of the clear blue sky and strikes the hawk. The hawk drops the squirel, the squirl drops the ball, and the ball drops right down into the cup for a Hole In One. Jesus turns to the guy and says “Nice Shot Dad.

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